A series by November

Chapter 16: Come Undone

"My immaculate dream
of breath and skin,
I've been waiting for you..."
--Duran Duran

By the end of the first day she had stopped warring with herself over counting the seconds until he arrived. Whatever would happen when he arrived, she was on the verge, and she knew she couldn’t fight it. He had her, she knew it. She wouldn’t fall into his arms, and she certainly wasn’t gonna take any shit from him, but she wasn’t going to deny her feelings, as tempestuous and ambivalent as they were.

She knew, despite what everyone had thought, that she had loved him. His soul had flowed into her as he saved her life and she loved him the way she loved life. What that love had atrophied into in the last five years, and what it was after anger and betrayal had taken their toll, she wasn’t sure. And she wasn’t sure what would happen when he arrived. She just knew that it would be profoundly good, or profoundly painful. She was prepared for either possibility. And she accepted that her fear was natural, just as she accepted it when going on a mission.

Wednesday came and went, and still she told herself these things. Though her fear had heightened, her heart thudding high in her throat when she remembered that he was coming, they were still just as true.

She didn’t tell anyone that he was coming. Xavier obviously knew but he didn’t mention it. They thought they had known her when he left, and to a large extent they did. Now, she didn’t want to have them in her head. She didn’t want that vulnerability, that skew of power. Like she said, she wasn’t a fucking kid. It was none of their business.

On Thursday evening her bio study group was meeting on campus. She didn’t dream of canceling it to wait around for his sorry ass to show up. Essie watched Maggie, Rogue was glad that she didn’t throw another hissy fit at her going out.

She went to campus, laughed with her schoolmates, even flirted with one of the guys in the group. She was ready for her midterm.

When she returned to the mansion in her Jeep, she knew that he was there. There was no sign of Scott’s bike, and she didn’t know how she knew, but she knew nonetheless.

Her heart pounded as she walked through the garage into the house. This was it, the moment she’d been dreaming and hoping and fearing and fantasizing about for five years. The hallway opened up into the main foyer. Deserted. She got her mail and walked up the stairs, willing her heart to slow down. He was nowhere to be seen. She turned the corner into her hallway and it was empty.

Essie was giving Maggie her bath. "Hey, guys."

"Hi Momma."

"Hey Marie, some guy stopped by for you." Marie had thought her heart was racing before. She was evidently wrong.

"Yeah?"

"Logan or Loden or something."

"Okay. Thanks for watching her, Essie."

"My pleasure, missy miss." Marie paid Essie and finished bathing Maggie.

She had suds in her hair and water splashed on her sweater when the knock came.

Marie dropped the sponge and Maggie wondered why her eyes had suddenly gotten so wide. "Someone’s at the door, Momma."

"Yeah, I hear. I better go get it. You rinse off and dry yourself, okay?"

"Okay."

Marie shook out her hair and pressed her lips together.

She pulled the door open, and then felt the breath catch in her chest, and the blood whoosh in her ears, and the hairs on every inch of her exposed skin grow tight.

He smelled like snow and leather. Jeans and a gray knit shirt that hugged his muscles. He was clean-shaven, but his hair had grown long. His eyes still carried that haunted look. And there was a slightly apprehensive furrow in his brow that made him look inexplicably, vulnerably, beautiful.

Then he smiled, a genuine sweet smile from his eyes, and she was lost.

"Hi," She swallowed and tried to control her breathing. She couldn’t show him now affected she was by his presence. She had been so cool on the phone the other night and now she felt like a blithering, blushing moron. She was a fool to think she could do this without losing control.

"Hi kid."

She rolled her eyes. "Hi old man." She certainly wasn’t gonna let him call her Kid without impunity.

"You look great." Oh my god, he’s trying to not look at my breasts. Definitely not treating me like a kid. She was wearing her most flattering sweater, purple, low-cut, and tight.

"Thanks."

"How are ya doin‘?"

"Good, just got back from campus."

"Yeah? C’mere and give me a hug."

Oh god oh god oh god no no no no no. She looked at the wall behind him.

Oh well, he did save my life.

Twice.

She gave him a halfhearted hug, exhaling slowly to avoid having to smell him. Because he smelled so good. Felt so good. Oh god.

She gave him a terse smile. "When did you get in?"

"’Bout three today."

"Yeah? How was Cleveland?"

"Rusty."

She laughed tersely. "That’s pretty much what I thought, too."

"You’ve been to Cleveland?"

No, you fucking ass, I’ve been waiting here on the doorstep of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters waiting for you for five years.

Oooh, I wanna say it. Can I say it out loud?

"Yeah, a few times."

Maggie splashed in the tub. Logan’s animal hearing caught it and he looked past her, into the apartment. "Your roommate home?"

"You could say that." She smiled enigmatically. His brows were doing that furrowing thing again. No, he definitely didn’t like this.

Maggie took this moment to walk sopping wet into the living room, wrapped in a towel.

"Momma?"

"Maggie, you’re getting water everywhere. C’mere." She scooped Maggie up into her bare arms. Logan was staring. He looked at Maggie, then Marie, then at her bare hand resting on Maggie’s back. Marie wrapped the towel around her and wiped water off her nose with a smile.

"Mags, can you say hello to Logan?"

"Hi!"

The moment stretched out eternally. He looked at Maggie, then at her. He swallowed, and tried to hide his look of shock. Then, his jaw flexed tight.

"Hi. Um, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see ya."

Marie couldn’t help but laugh, one harsh bark of shocked laughter, despite the flush of hurt and anger rising to her cheeks.

"Mamma, that man was wigging out."

"Yeah, he was, wasn’t he?" Marie slammed the door hard as tears came to her eyes.